"Keep hearing these strange sounds come up in the kitchen
Holy Skit!
It's the Slenderman!
...And he's cooking hotdogs on the skove??!
Hey, you hungry home invader!
Stop raiding our refrigerator!
YIKES!
He just wacked me with a warm weiner. 
Twice!
Wait...
...you aint got no lips...
...how could you eat potato chips?
GOD! 
Knock it off you skinny son of a b*tch!
Quit stealin our food and go buy a frickin' SANDWICH!
... You phony BASTARD!
Look at this place...
It's a Disaster!"